


past the spring equinox

by cara1317



Series: spring equinox [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Magic, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-19 19:50:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10646859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cara1317/pseuds/cara1317
Summary: For as long as Tooru can remember, Hajime has always been by his side. But between graduation, the new school year, and all the magic that happens when you finally start growing up, Tooru isn’t sure what will happen, only that he never wants to lose Hajime.[ written for the iwaoiexchange event! ]





	past the spring equinox

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ioo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ioo/gifts).



> Written for coka as part of the iwaoiexchange event! I'm sorry it's a little late, but I hope you like it. The prompts you gave me were perfect, I hope I've done them justice!
> 
> Edited by the amazing @downmoonwrites (You are the BEST! Thank you for your help!)
> 
> [[ NOTES ]] magic au where it’s possible to gain magic powers, usually when you’re about 17 or 18, but it can come earlier or later. It’s rare for an actual “superpower” to show up; most powers are small, everyday things, like never burning yourself in the kitchen, or having better vision underwater.

"Enjoy your third year," people told him. "It'll fly by."  
  
He had laughed then, nodding politely in agreement but dismissing the weight of their words. Time didn't fly by -- it stretched and squeezed in fickle bursts, making days seem like weeks and minutes feel like hours.  
  
But as they neared the end of the season, it seemed like every match signaled the shifting up of a gear, turning the hands of the clock faster and faster. It made Tooru feel like if he blinked, he'd miss it all.  
  
Suddenly, he understood what people meant when they said that some of their best memories were during their final year. It was that realization that made him feel like he was experiencing everything again for the first time, like colours and sounds were brighter than before, like he could reach out and grab the moment in his fist if he tried.  
  
And soon enough, the tentative hues of winter-turning-spring were giving way to the bolder greens and blues of almost-summer. Looking up at the sky, Tooru realizes that it's one of the few constants in his life. He watches the clouds meander past and sighs, blissfully happy. Footsteps clack against the brick pavement behind him. Even without turning around, he knows who it is.  
  
"Iwa-chan, don't you think today is the perfect day for graduating?"  
  
The footsteps stop, and the only noise is the wind rustling through the leaves of newly budded trees. Tooru can practically smell summer just waiting to leap out of the earth.  
  
"Yeah," admits Hajime. "It’s perfect."  
  
Tooru spreads his arms wide and spins himself around on one foot.  
  
"Ah, I'm so excited for summer. School is out and we're finally free! No more bratty kouhai to worry about, just you and me against the world, huh Iwa-chan?"  
  
He loops an arm around Hajime's shoulders and rubs his knuckles against the top of his head.  
  
"Hey, knock it off, Oikawa!"  
  
Hajime bats Tooru's hand away and shoves him back a step, although halfheartedly. Tooru knows that if he really wanted, Hajime could easily knock him over. But he's always held back his strength, especially around Tooru.  
  
"Aw c'mon, don't be a sourpuss," he says anyways. "We've only got a few hours left until the ceremony and then it'll be summer break!"  
  
Hajime scoffs, shaking his head. "You're one to talk, moping around here in the back of the school."  
  
Tooru shrugs, only half-facing him. "I like it here." The wind shuffles through the trees again, whispering against the pavement and tugging at his clothes.  
  
"Yeah, you always come here. Or the gardens."  
  
He hums noncommittally, even though they both know it's true.  
  
"What are you thinking about?"  
  
Tooru pauses, not sure of the answer himself.  
  
"About... the future, I guess. It'll be strange, being somewhere else other than here."  
  
Hajime chuckles. "You always did want to get out of here, though. This town, even this whole prefecture, was always just a little too small for you."  
  
"Mm. There isn't anything here for me, not really." He pauses. "Nothing except for you." Out of the corner of his eye, he sneaks a glance at Hajime.  
  
Hajime hums thoughtfully. "Well, not much else could fit here, what with the size of your ego." He bumps Tooru's shoulder.  
  
"Oi!" he starts to protest, but relents at the mischievous sparkle in Hajime's eyes. He sighs instead and drops his head down to rest on Hajime's shoulder. "I really do mean it, Hajime," he says softly.  
  
"I know." Hajime hesitates, then adds, "I needed you here too, you know." The way he says it almost sounds like a question, quiet and unassuming.  
  
They stand there a moment more before Hajime lifts his head and reaches over to gently tilt Tooru's own off of his shoulder.  
  
"We should get going."  
  
"Iwa-chan..."  
  
"C'mon, let's go."  
  
He starts walking, but halts when he realizes that Tooru's still standing there.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"I..."  
  
Tooru can't say it. He wants to tell him, he really does, but the words get clogged up in his throat; anxiety roils in his gut and his heart tries to beat out of his chest, banging against his ribs like a frightened animal in a cage. He swallows, grips the edges of his uniform sleeves. His instincts kick in the same way it does before he serves the ball, and he breathes in and out, slow but sure.  
  
"I... I just wanted to say..."  
  
He trails off again, unsure which words to use, what to say that can truly convey the years between them; the tripping, quarreling ideas in his mind and heart.  
  
"I know it's the end of the year, and that we're probably going to go to different places, especially if we get magic, or if our types of powers are different, and..."  
  
He can't do this. He can't.  
  
Words have always been his forte, but never with Hajime. He's never needed them with Hajime.  
  
He squeezes his eyes shut, fingers digging into the fabric with the intense need to do something, anything.  
  
"I-- Hajime, I..."  
  
"Hey," Hajime says, touching his arm lightly, "this isn't goodbye, you know?"  
  
Tooru doesn't trust himself to speak, the thousands of things he needs to say and balled up words still knotted tightly in his throat. He nods instead, hesitantly at first, then vigorously. Opening his eyes, he sees Hajime looking at him with that familiar gruff expression on his face, the one that means he knows Tooru's beating himself up over something small.  
  
It isn't small, but how could he know? Years together, and for all his uncanny ability to understand him, he still can't read Tooru completely. Secretly, Tooru is glad of it. He always has been, too cowardly afraid that Hajime will know and it'll all go wrong.  
  
Hajime slides his hand down Tooru's arm and pries his fingers loose from his sleeve. "You'll wrinkle it."  
  
He laughs at Tooru's face, the unwitting scrunch of his nose. "And you're always telling me I'm the brute," he says playfully, prodding him in the side.  
  
This, Tooru can do. The banter between them is easy, natural, falling into place like water running over pebbles.  
  
"You are the brute, Iwa-chan!" He shoos Hajime's hands away. "Don't go poking people! It isn't nice. What would your mother say?"  
  
"I'd just tell her I learned it from you," he replies.  
  
"Rude! She wouldn't fall for that at all."  
  
"Oh, I don't know about that, Oikawa." He grins, and Tooru resolutely ignores the extra beat of his heart. "Your mom loves me."  
  
Tooru pulls a face. "You've been at my house as long as I have, of course she has to put up with you somehow. She's probably immune at this point!"  
  
He dances out of reach when Hajime's hands threaten to tickle his sides.  
  
"No, no, don't you--"  
  
Hajime lunges for him.  
  
"--dare!" He most definitely does not screech the last part as he flat out runs for his life.  
  
He knows that Hajime knows something is up, knows that he'll ask him about it later, but for now, he'll take whatever sense of normalcy he can get.  


* * *

  
Later, when they're leaning against the chain link of the fences surrounding the baseball field, catching their breath, he turns his head to the side and watches the contented smile on his best friend's face.  
  
_It'll be good,_ he thinks to himself. _It's for the best._  
  
So he doesn't tell him, doesn't muster up the courage to say the words he's waited to say for the past year and longer. Instead, he follows him to the lawn where the ceremony will take place, smiles, and waves to people he knows, exchanging informal bows with fellow classmates or clapping his friends on the back and nodding as they make promises and plans.  
  
Finally, the ceremony starts. For all the hours of rehearsal they’ve done, working on the proper footwork and sequence of events, it seems to pass in the blink of an eye. He’d imagined the ceremony to be longer, full of inspiring speeches and emotions, but he feels numb, almost as if he’s only watching it happen from a window.

When he crosses the stage to formally receive the diploma for their graduating class, he is careful to follow the correct order in acknowledging the flag, teachers, and city officials in turn. He’d been ecstatic when he’d been chosen to represent their class; it's an honor reserved for top students of exceptional merit. Now, as he accepts the diploma from the principal and shakes his hand, he realizes that it's no more than mere paper, that while his position is an honor, it's simply just one small part of their brief ceremony.

He turns to look out across the rows of seats lined up on the lawn. The sun bears down on the green grass and white plastic chairs, but his family is there, even his sister and nephew, all the way from across the prefecture. He proudly shows them the diploma, holding it up over his head.  
  
Still, his eyes search the crowd of students for a particular person. When he finds Hajime, he sees the lopsided grin he shoots his way along with two thumbs up.  
  
This isn't goodbye, Hajime had said, and Tooru trusts him. He always has, and he isn't about to stop now.

He bows again in the proper order, paying his respects, careful not to trip as he leaves the stage backwards, one of the many customs in Seijou’s graduating ceremony. Sitting back down in his chair, they listen to the speeches of the principal and mayor. Yahaba takes the stage, and despite his previous comment to Hajime, Tooru really _is_ proud of his kouhai and how far the team has come. They’ll go further next year, he knows, and that in itself is an accomplishment.

“Thank you all for your hard work. We look forward to continue supporting you as you learn and grow.”

Yahaba bows and exits the stage to applause.

Everyone stands to sing _Auld Lang Syne._ There’s a final round of applause, and just like that, it’s over. Three years at Seijou, and now they’ll be going to different universities, wherever their coming-of-age powers -- or lack thereof -- take them. 

 

* * *

  
They spend all summer together, Tooru reluctant to let go of Hajime for more than a few hours. Their parents seem to understand, mostly because they've seen their two boys grow up like twin saplings twined together over time, and partly because Tooru pleads with his parents and charms Hajime's into it.  
  
For a town as small as theirs, Tooru suddenly feels like it's grown. Perhaps it's the weight of the fact that it's the last chance for him to explore familiar places with Hajime by his side, or that with each passing hour, the expiration date on their inseparable friendship looms closer. Whatever it is, he resolves not to let a single moment slip by.

They're two weeks from the end of summer, lying on the banks of the creek in the back fields of a farm owned by an old family friend. Tooru can still taste the butter lemon cookies they'd brought with them, the tartness of it making him wince on the first bite, the sugary sweet as it melted in his mouth. He rolls over onto his stomach, propping one hand up under his chin.  
  
"Iwa-chan, do you think I could be a baker one day?"  
  
Hajime had snorted, turning his head from where it rested on his palms to squint up at Tooru.  
  
"You, a baker? Remind me again, aren't you the one who set the kitchen on fire when you tried to bake brownies?"  
  
"That was one time, Iwa-chan. Every baker has a kitchen mishap."  
  
"Maybe, but do they all burn water without fail?"  
  
Tooru sputters, flicking Hajime on the forehead with his free hand. "If I'm baking, I won't need to boil water!"  
  
Hajime grabs his wrist before he can pull it back. "Oi, stop with the abuse, Trashykawa."  
  
He struggles to free his hand from his grip. "It's not abuse! And you're the one calling me names!"  
  
"It's a nickname," Hajime replies, laughing as Tooru uses his other hand to pry his grip open.  
  
He huffs. "Whatever. I could be a great baker if I wanted."  
  
"Sure, if that was your power. If you suddenly find out that you’ve got magic baking skills, let me know. Or Hanamaki; I’m sure he’d be thrilled to have someone who could bake for him all day. But unless you get a baking superpower, you'd be helpless in a kitchen," he teases.  
  
"I'm not that much of a lost cause, Iwa-chan! All I need is some practice."  
  
"Magic or no magic, I don't think you could ever practice baking enough that I'd trust the food that came out of your kitchen."  
  
Tooru swats him on the arm, choosing not to dignify him with a response. He crosses his arms and plops his head on them, letting the grass tickle his nose.  
  
"Anyways," says Hajime, "just because you get your powers doesn't mean you'll be perfect right away, or ever, even. Powers normally just boost your ability, not make it flawless."  
  
"Sometimes they're new ones, though."  
  
"Yeah, but those rarely ever happen. It'd be cool though, don't you think?"  
  
Tooru nods, even though he knows Hajime can't see it. He shifts so he's lying on his side, facing Hajime, one arm still under his head.  
  
"You think you'll have powers?"  
  
At first, Hajime doesn't respond. Tooru thinks maybe he's fallen asleep, his expression peaceful and his closed eyes barely stirring except for the occasional flutter of his eyelashes. His hair, longer now as it's grown out over the summer, wisps at his temples, tentatively straying from his normally spiky hair. Tooru reaches out, hand halfway to tucking it back behind his ears when Hajime's eyes open and flicker over to meet his own. Tooru freezes.  
  
"What're you doing?" he murmurs.  
  
"Nothing!" Tooru yelps, drawing his hand back and scrambling to an upright sitting position.  
  
Hajime breathes out a laugh. "If you say so." He turns his gaze upwards, watching the looping flight of the swallows as they cross the sky.  
  
Tooru swallows, pulling his legs towards him to sit cross-legged. "Your hair's getting longer, is all," he mumbles.  
  
"So's yours." Hajime pulls one hand out from under his head and reaches over to Tooru's hunched position, tugging at the strands. He settles back again, and Tooru fiddles with the grass in front of him.  
  
"I think we will."  
  
"What?" Tooru looks at him, eyes full of confusion.  
  
"Your question, earlier. I think we'll both get powers."  
  
Tooru shreds a blade of grass into tiny pieces. "Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah. You'd get something cool, like knowing what the right choice is, or photographic memory."  
  
"Not baking?"  
  
Hajime pushes at his knee, upsetting Tooru's balance enough that he has to put one hand on the ground to steady himself. They both laugh, and Tooru stretches out his legs and leans back on his hands.  
  
"I bet you'd get baking, Iwa-chan. Just for making fun of me."  
  
"Karma from the universe?" Hajime teases.  
  
He sniffs, putting on a haughty air. "Most definitely."  
  
They laugh again, and Tooru hopes he does get powers that will let him remember things like this, when their laughter rings across the swaying buttercups and fields of tall wheat.  
  
He spots a patch of dandelion puffs a few yards away and gets up to pluck two. Flopping back onto the ground, he holds one out to Hajime.  
  
"Here," he says, “make a wish."  
  
Hajime props himself up with one hand and takes the fragile blossom with the other.  
  
"Ready?" At Hajime's nod, he counts. "One, two, three!"  
  
They blow at the same time, the seeds floating off the stalk and dancing in the breeze.  
  
And then, both Tooru and Hajime stop. Because the dandelion seeds aren't just being carried away by the wind, they're literally floating, dancing in place, caught up by what can only be described as magic.  
  
Hajime reacts first, slowly bringing a hand up, reaching for the twirling seeds. As if magnetic, they drift towards his hand. Tooru watches in silence, hardly breathing, but Hajime gasps in wonder as they land in his open palm and continue to twirl in a circle there. He laughs, a grin spreading wide across his face as he holds his hand out towards Tooru.  
  
"Look!" he exclaims, as if Tooru hadn't been there the whole time.  
  
Tooru can hardly fault him for it, though. Powers don't come to everyone, and sometimes it takes years for it to manifest.  
  
He grins back. "I knew it, Iwa-chan, I knew you'd get a special power."  
  
Hajime cups his hands together, watching the dandelion puffs swirl into delicate arrays and patterns, a tiny dance unconsciously choreographed by him. After a few minutes, he spreads his hands wide and the seeds fly away. One remains, stubbornly clinging to the tip of his finger, and Tooru laughs.  
  
"That one reminds me of you, Iwa-chan."  
  
Hajime rolls his eyes, but he scoots over to the edge of the bank, where the grass slopes out into dirt and then mud, and carefully plants the seed. Taking a deep breath, he presses both hands to the ground on either side.  
  
Tooru inches forward, careful not to disturb the newly-bloomed patches of flowers Hajime had left behind him on his way to the bank. At first, nothing seems to happen, and Hajime furrows his brow, staring at the patch of dirt as if he can will the plant into existence.  
  
Honestly, it isn't far from the truth, Tooru supposes, as the two of them watch, enraptured, as a tiny green sprout peeks out of the ground. It grows a bit taller and sprouts a tiny leaf. Hajime exclaims in delight, his face lit up with joy as he meets Tooru's eyes. He turns back to his plant, coaxing it to keep growing, the faint green aura of magic surrounding the plant now visible between his hands.  
  
Tooru looks on, his smile fading a bit now that Hajime is preoccupied. As happy as he is for him, he also recognizes that now, it's definitely impossible for them to be going to the same school. Niwa no Jinsei Academy is the only university in Japan focusing on plant or life-based powers, and the chances of Tooru having the same power was highly unlikely, given the rarity of those few who actually manifested such a class level of magic, especially the gift of growth and life. Even though the academy also accepts non-magical students, it's too far for him to move out there, not to mention their high cost of tuition and the fact that Tooru would need to apply to even be considered as a student.  
  
He's broken out of his thoughts when calloused fingers tuck a flower behind his ear. Instinctively, he reaches up to touch it.  
  
"Your... first flower?"  
  
Hajime shrugs. "I'll always be able to grow more." He looks around him, noticing for the first time the vibrant blossoms blanketing the grass around him. "And I guess, technically, I grew a couple more before that one," he admits sheepishly.  
  
Tooru smiles at that, and stands up, brushing off his pants. He holds out a hand.  
  
"C'mon, let's go tell your parents. They're going to be thrilled."  
  
Hajime takes his hand, and Tooru pulls him up. If he doesn't let go until they reach the back door of Hajime's home and kick off their shoes, neither of them say anything about it.  


* * *

  
"I guess this is it, then," Hajime says.  
  
"Who knew you'd be ready to pack up and leave so soon, huh, Iwa-chan?"  
  
They laugh, but it's a stilted laughter, both knowing fully well that any academy would be a fool to turn him down, even the prestigious Niwa no Jinsei, and with the quick invitation and scholarship offer, there was no question as to where Hajime would end up going.  
  
Still, Tooru had selfishly hoped, deep down, that he wouldn't have to leave, that he _wouldn't_ leave. It was only that, though: a hope.  
  
Hajime adjusts the strap of his backpack over his shoulder, and holds the flower pot in his other hand out to Tooru.  
  
"Nice," Tooru remarks, accepting the gift. "You got me a pot. Full of dirt."  
  
"Don't ruin the moment, Stupidkawa." His voice trembles, belying his harsh words. "I'm not supposed to, but..."  
  
Hajime stretches his hands out, one coming to brace against Tooru's hand, the other above the pot, fingers hovering over the carefully packed soil. Hesitantly, he lifts his hand. His fingers curl into a soft imitation of a pinching motion, as if he's drawing the plant out by a string.  
  
Green shoots spring out, curling and broadening into wide, spiky leaves. A slender stalk unravels itself, budding and proudly bursting into telltale yellow petals. Two more flowers follow, smaller this time, and Tooru can't help but laugh.  
  
"Dandelions," he says, gazing at the plant.  
  
Hajime withdraws his hands, nervously shoving them into his pockets.  
  
"Yeah, I know they're just weeds, really, but I couldn't think what else to give you, and it was my first flower, and you were there, and I--"  
  
Tooru throws himself at Hajime, wrapping his arms around his neck.  
  
"I love it," he says, and the words are muffled against Hajime's hoodie, but he knows he hears them anyway.  
  
Strong arms wrap around his back, and Tooru can feel the warmth of tears balancing dangerously on his eyelashes, but he's happy, so, so happy, just to be here with Hajime in this moment.  
  
They stand there like that for what feels like an eternity, him halfway on the porch and halfway on the doorstep, the door flung wide open behind him, his new plant snug in its pot on the table.  
  
It isn't eternity, though, and Tooru knows he needs to let go. He hugs Hajime tighter, burying his face in his shoulder, not wanting to give him up. Eventually, though, Tooru pulls back. He swipes at his eyes with the back of his hand.  
  
"You'll stay in touch?" he asks, hating how choked up his voice already is.  
  
"Yeah, of course."  
  
If he's going to say it, he needs to say it now, before Hajime leaves, before it's too late.  
  
_I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I don't want you to leave. I want to be by your side forever. I love you, I love you, I love you._  
  
"I'll text you every day," he hears himself say.  
  
"Wouldn't expect anything less," Hajime replies, and his lips turn up in that boyish smile Tooru loves.  


* * *

  
08/27/16, 4:13 pm  
SENT TO Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

_Missing you already_

 

08/27/16, 4:13 pm  
FROM: Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

 _I can still see you standing there on the sidewalk_ _  
_  
Tooru laughs, looking up from his phone to wave with both hands, jumping up and down. The car reaches the corner, and Hajime sticks his head out of the window, waving back. Tooru watches until the car turns and disappears behind the neat rows of houses.

He's trudging up the stairs to his room when his phone buzzes in his pocket. 

  
08/27/16, 4:18 pm  
FROM: Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

 _Missing you too_ _  
_  
He flops onto the bed, rolling over to lie on his side. The dandelions on his bedside table sway gently in the breeze from his open window, sunshine flickering across the little Godzilla and alien stickers adorning the sides of the pot.  
  
"I miss you, Hajime," he whispers.

 

* * *

 

 

It's strange, not having his best friend beside him, to start a school year without Hajime's reassuring presence. Still, they text every day, and Tooru peppers him with silly questions and spams of photos and kaomojis. Hajime calls from time to time, and the first time he hears Hajime's voice over the phone, he most definitely does not cry within five seconds.  
  
The days turn into months, and then it's winter break and Hajime is flying back home.  
  
Tooru stays up late that night, waiting to hear signs of life outside his house, to hear familiar footsteps in the freshly fallen snow.  
  
A car door slams.  
  
Voices, low in the frigid winter air, hushed enough so as not to disturb the neighbors, but loud enough to filter through the window panes.  
  
Tooru flings back the covers, heedless of the cold, yanking open his bedroom door and stumbling down the stairs as quietly as he can, shoving his bare feet into boots, before tugging the front door open and running, running the remaining distance to Hajime.  
  
"Iwa-chan!"  
  
He tackles him in a hug, their feet skidding on the frozen pavement, Hajime's arms instinctively coming up to his waist to steady him.  
  
"Oikawa," he says, hugging him back. "I didn't think you'd be awake."  
  
"Pff, of course I would be. Didn't I tell you that?"  
  
Hajime leans back. "And I told you to go to sleep like normal."  
  
"When do I ever listen to you, though," Tooru jokes, looking at him properly for the first time since summer.  
  
Hajime's gotten a little taller, stronger too, the lines of his jaw more sharply defined. A bit of stubble shadows his cheeks, and there are more freckles smattered across the bridge of his nose, but he's still the same Hajime that Tooru remembers.  
  
He presses their foreheads together.  
  
"Welcome home, Iwa-chan." 

 

* * *

  
  
Winter break passes in a flurry of activities; two weeks is too short of a time compared to the years Tooru is used to spending with Hajime.

When it's time for Hajime to leave, Tooru offers to drive him to the airport. It's really less of an offer and more of him insisting, wanting to spend every last minute he can together.

They pull up in the lot, snow crunching under the tires. Tooru turns the key and the engine’s steady thrum eases into silence. Getting out of the car, he comes around the hood to meet Hajime.

“I guess this is it,” he says, uncomfortable with the sudden lack of noise or conversation.

“Yeah. Back to the academy.”

“You're learning so much, Iwa-chan. Soon you'll be even better than me!”

Hajime softly cuffs his shoulder.

“As if.”

They both know it's a sore spot for Tooru, not having powers _\-- yet, Hajime keeps insisting, you just haven't unlocked them yet --_ and for the most part, have silently agreed not to mention it. It's made easier by the fact that Hajime isn't allowed to use his powers outside of class.

“You're going to be amazing, you know that?”

Tooru shakes his head, watching the snowflakes land on his boots.

“You don't need to pity me,” he shrugs nonchalantly, “powers aren't for everyone.”

“Hey.”

Tooru looks up, meeting Hajime’s eyes.

“You're going to be amazing, and I know it. You know why?”

He can't bring himself to react, caught off guard by the force behind Hajime’s words, but Hajime forges on anyway.

“Because you're amazing. You have always overcome whatever was standing in your way, always worked to bring out the strength in others, have always been strong yourself.” He laughs a little. “Stronger than you needed to be, sometimes.”

He reaches up to brush away a snowflake on Tooru’s cheek. Tooru watches him, brown eyes wide at the unexpected words.

“You have always been my strength, Tooru. And if you can't see that in yourself, then I'll believe in you enough for the two of us.”

They're leaning towards each other, inching their way closer, almost imperceptibly, and Tooru wants to kiss him so badly. But it isn't his place to do so, and deep down, he knows it won't work out. It's better this way, to stay friends.

So he's surprised when Hajime closes the gap and presses warm lips to his. It's gentle and chaste, and Tooru lets his eyes fall shut, lets himself have this for one moment. Because this, this is everything he's dreamed of.

Hajime brings his hand up to cup Tooru’s cheek, and Tooru realizes that it's too long, too much, that he's stepping over the line -- so he panics, pushing Hajime away and jerking backward.

He catches his balance, putting one hand on the car, and looks up to see Hajime’s broken expression.

“I-- I’m sorry,” he says, and it's the truth.

Hajime shakes his head, slowly. “No, I'm the one-- I’m sorry.”

“It didn't mean anything, right?” Tooru asks, desperate to keep their friendship from unraveling. He clutches the car frame, fingers slipping against the cool metal, afraid that his hesitation to push Hajime away sooner has irrevocably ruined their bond.

“No,” Hajime replies. “I just-- it was-- I’m sorry.” He stuffs his hands into his pockets. “It was my mistake.”

Tooru relaxes a little. “Just a mistake,” he repeats quietly, relieved.

Hajime sniffs, and Tooru looks up at him. His nose is a little red, eyes reflecting the light of the lamps in the parking lot.

“You should get inside, Iwa-chan.” He tries to sound playful. “Wouldn't want you to catch a cold in this weather! What would your parents say?”

“Yeah,” Hajime says, giving him a small smile. “Yeah, I should.”

Tooru hesitates a moment, but walks forward to give him a hug goodbye. Hajime hugs him back, tightly, before letting go.

“Bye, Tooru.”

“Bye, Hajime.”

 

* * *

 

 

Despite them remaining friends, the first few weeks after winter break are awkward, Hajime not replying as quickly. More often than not, Tooru is the one to start a conversation. But he chalks it up to the starting of second term, figuring with the stress of final exams and the start of the New Year holiday, Hajime probably is busy. _He_ definitely is, and it's only regular university. He can't imagine having to stress over passing stage exams or _licensing_ exams for powers as well.

So Tooru busies himself with his studies, steadfastly ignoring whatever discomfort he might have. At the very least, he can keep up this semblance of normal until they next see each other.  


02/21/17, 11:37 am  
FROM: Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

_I got offered an internship abroad._

 

02/21/17, 11:42 am  
SENT TO Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

_WHAT?! When??_

 

02/21/17, 11:43 am  
FROM: Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

_After this term ends_

 

02/21/17, 11:44 am  
FROM: Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

_...it’ll be over summer vacation_

 

02/21/17, 11:44 am  
SENT TO Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

_Iwa-chan that's amazing!! You should definitely go for it (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧_

 

Tooru swallows down his disappointment. The chance of this internship is an incredible opportunity, but accepting it also means that Hajime will be gone all summer. He won't see him for another ten months. It'll be a whole year since he’s last seen him.

 

02/21/17, 11:45 am  
FROM: Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

_I haven't told my parents yet_

 

02/21/17, 11:46 am  
SENT TO Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

_Omg what sort of son are you_

 

02/21/17, 11:46 am  
SENT TO Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

_Go tell them!! Call them right now_

 

02/21/17, 11:46 am  
FROM: Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

_I wanted you to be the first to know_

 

02/21/17, 11:46 am  
FROM: Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

_And I didn't know what to do about it_

 

02/21/17, 11:47 am  
SENT TO: Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

_Aw don't be silly, what is there really to consider?_

 

02/21/17, 11:47 am  
SENT TO: Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

_You should definitely take this opportunity, this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing!_

 

02/21/17, 11:48 am  
FROM: Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

_It's a long time to not see everyone :/_

 

Tooru chews on his lip thoughtfully. It's a big step, yes, especially being an overseas internship. But…

 

02/21/17, 11:49 am  
SENT TO: Iwa-chan ᕦ(•́⌄•́๑)ᕤ✧

Message Content:

_If anyone can do it, it's you. Go get them Hajime!!_

 

* * *

 

Tooru moves out for his second year, renting an apartment with Sugawara, whose mischievous side keeps Tooru smiling and the ache of loneliness away.

Rooming together comes as a surprise, but at the same time, not at all. The two of them have much in common… like being college students looking to split the rent. That aside, Tooru didn’t realize how many similar interests they have, although Suga’s love for horror movies and spicy things is entirely abhorrent and unforgivable.

When they first move in, they bicker, in person or with “thoughtful” notes left around the apartment. Still, Tooru can’t say that Suga isn’t a genuinely kind person. He’s also extremely perceptive.

“Was that Iwaizumi?”

“Yeah,” Tooru says, flinging himself onto the couch next to Suga. He props his legs up over Suga’s lap. “Why?”

“Oh, just wondering. You always look happier after talking to him.”

He shrugs. “It's weird, not having him around. Phone calls are the next best thing.”

Suga hesitates, fingers twisting the edges of the book’s cover. “Are you… are the two of you…?”

Tooru furrows his brow. “What?”

“Y’know. Together? Dating?”

His expression must fall or something, because Suga’s face turns into one of knowing sympathy.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pried.”

“It's okay,” Tooru says, “is it really that obvious?”

“Sort of.” He shrugs. “The two of you are really close, it’s hard to tell.”

Tooru drops his face into the pillows on the couch.

“That bad, huh?” Suga pats his shoulder consolingly.

Tooru’s groan is muffled, but he peeks out long enough to admit, “I just really like him, and he doesn’t know at all.”

“Have you told him?”

He burrows back into the pillow.

“No.”

“Well, just tell him! Whatever happens, the two of you will work it out.”

“No, it won’t.”

Suga’s voice is stern. “And how would you know that, exactly?”

Tooru rolls over, clutching the pillow to his chest like a lifeline.

“Because he kissed me.”

Suga gapes at him. “Are you serious?”

Tooru nods once, shrinking back into the cushions.

“Oikawa, are you telling me that the boy _kissed_ you and _you don’t think he likes you?!”_

Tooru springs to his feet indignantly. “He doesn’t!” He eases himself back down to sit. “He said… he said it was a mistake.”

Suga moves to sit next to him, pulling him into a hug. “I’m sorry, Oikawa.”

Tooru leans into the embrace, letting Suga soothe him. It’d be nice to not feel like he’s lost everything for once.

 

* * *

 

 

Summer: it’s different without Hajime, yes, but Tooru spends time with Makki and Mattsun, as well as Kuroo, Daichi, and Suga, since they all ended up at the same university.

Suga discovers his power when they’re out in the city and are struck by a sudden downpour, instantly soaking their hair and clothes. All of them, except for Suga, who is just as surprised as they are to find that he's perfectly dry, the rain sliding off his shoulders the way water runs down glass windows.

They celebrate for him, of course, by attempting to douse him in water. It doesn't work, but Suga laughs hard enough that he works himself into tears, and they count it as a victory.

 

 

* * *

 

With the return of second term, Tooru learns that special powers, apparently, mean extra classes, even for smaller level powers like Suga’s. It also means that he gets the apartment to himself for a few extra hours before Suga returns.

He's curled up on the sofa and paging through his reading for the night when the door slams open. He looks up, startled.

"H-Hajime?"  
  
He doesn't believe his eyes. The man standing in front of him wears clothes Tooru would describe as actually fashionable, and while his hair still spikes up, the bottom half of it is trimmed into an undercut. He looks older, more mature, and self-assured, rather than mere confidence. But he knows it's Hajime. He would recognize that face anywhere, could find it in a crowd, can pick out exactly what the furrowed brow and line of his lips mean.  
  
Right now, it means something is wrong.  
  
When Hajime says nothing, shoving the door closed and kicking off his shoes, Tooru knows exactly what's wrong. He shuts his textbook with trembling fingers and slides it onto the table as he stands up, fidgeting with the hem of his sweater.  
  
"Hajime, I--" he shuts his mouth with a clack.  
  
What can he say to him? There's nothing to be said, there's nothing he can do to remedy this situation. He made his choice eight months ago, and now it's Hajime's turn to decide.  
  
Hajime crosses the room in long strides, standing just an arm’s length away. He looks upset, the angry sort, but more than that, terrified, and something else familiar, although Tooru can't put his finger on it.  
  
The silence stretches, warped by the rampant thoughts running through Tooru's mind, and he's reminded of a different silence, one wreathed in snow, and the words that Hajime had answered him with: _“It was my mistake.”_

Suddenly, Tooru realizes what he had meant by that. It wasn't Hajime’s fault, after all, it never was. It was _his._ It had really been his mistake all this time.

"You never told me," Hajime bites out. He's breathing heavily, as if he had run all the way here. "You never--" he breaks off abruptly, bringing a hand up to rub over his face. "Why didn't you tell me?" he says, and his voice is dangerously calm, like the sky in between rain clouds.

“I… didn't know how to.”

“You could've just told me! If it wasn’t for Suga, I never would have known!” His voice is strained with frustration, and Tooru breaks.

“No, I couldn't just tell you! I didn't know how you'd react! I couldn't lose you as a friend, don't you understand? It was better for us to be friends than for me to lose you, to lose everything!”

“You couldn't have known that!”

He takes a step forward, and Tooru tears his hands away from where they tangle with his hair.

“You're right! I didn't know that! All I knew was that it was best for you to not know how I felt!”

"No!" Hajime shouts fiercely. "No! You don't get to pick what's best for me! I know what's best for me, and it wasn't this!"

His chest heaves, dragging air into his lungs. “It isn't this,” he says, quieter.

Tooru can only stand there, silently. He breathes in and lets out a ragged breath that flutters through the fingers of the hand he had pressed against his mouth.  
  
"Do you know how much this hurt me? How many hours I spent, alone, feeling like my world was coming apart?"  
  
Tooru stretches a hand out. "Hajime, I--"  
  
"You don't!" Hajime snaps, and Tooru jolts, fingers instinctively curling back.  
  
"God, Tooru, I don't know what to say to you. I have loved you -- _loved_ you -- for years and years." He chokes out a bitter laugh, using the back of his hand to smudge at the tears trailing down his face. "Years, Tooru!"  
  
"I-- I didn't know," he says, and it comes out as a whisper. 

“I _kissed_ you! How could you _not_ have known?”

“I never thought you could look at me like that! I thought you kissed me out of pity, or because-- because--” He breaks off his sentence, choking back tears. “I thought it was only a _mistake.”_

Hajime softens. "I know. Maybe," he says, breath trembling, "maybe it was my fault. Maybe if you had known, if I had said something, we wouldn't--"  
  
Tooru shakes his head. "It's not your fault."  
  
He keeps going. "Maybe we wouldn't have been this way, gotten to this point."  
  
This time, when Tooru reaches out, Hajime takes a step towards him, and then he's stumbling into his arms, crying.  
  
"Shh, shh." He brushes his hand along the soft hairs that grow at the nape of Hajime's neck, rubs along his spine. "It's not your fault. You couldn't have known."  
  
The collar of his t-shirt grows damp with tears, but he barely feels it. Hajime tightens his arms around his waist, and Tooru realizes that somehow they've ended up on the floor.  
  
He doesn't know how long they stay like that, only that their breathing evens out and the lights in the building across his apartment have gone out one by one.  
  
"We could've had something different, you know."  
  
Hajime leans back enough to see Tooru’s face. “Yeah?” he asks, voice barely audible.

His expression is vulnerable, shoulders hunched, trails of old tears still visible on his cheeks. Tooru reaches up to press a hand against his cheek, smoothing away the water.

“Yeah,” he whispers back. Swallows. “We still could, if you wanted.”

Hajime smiles at him, eyes tired but filled with warmth. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

 

* * *

 

 

It's springtime, and the trees are heavily laden with cherry blossoms, their branches releasing petals to the wind.

This time, when Tooru hears footsteps behind him, he doesn't hesitate to turn around.

“Hey there, handsome,” he murmurs, pulling Hajime close.

“Hey yourself,” Hajime says, tilting his head to kiss him.

Tooru slips his hand into Hajime’s, linking their fingers together.

“Ready?” he asks.

“Yeah.” Hajime smiles, squeezing his hand. “I'm ready whenever you are.”

If Miyagi has more flowers that year than usual, no one thinks twice about it. As for the patches of flowers springing up between the cobblestones after a certain boy?

“It's magic,” some say.

“It's love,” say others.

And perhaps they're both right.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun Facts:  
> 1\. I planned to write 1.5k and... well, that didn't happen  
> 2\. I LOVE this magic AU and I sort of have 87250 more ideas for it  
> 3\. Iwa-chan's academy is called Niwa no Jinsei, which translates to "Life of Garden" (according to google translate at least)  
> 4\. Oikawa is clueless 99.99% of the time in this and I'm sorry
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr @carajay1317 or leave a comment below! Thank you for reading (and please hit that kudos button if you made it to the end notes!)


End file.
